Kuro and the Invasion of the Bandicoot Snatchers
by Darth Omix
Summary: The title is a reference to Mind over Mutant's original title idea: Crash and the Invasion of the Bandicoot Snatchers. It's pretty much a simple comedy fanfic without much of a difinitive plot.
1. Episode I: Twinsane Troubles

**[DO: Even though _The Chaos Crystals of Armageddon_ is still in progress, I've decided to write this instead for a more comedic storyline. tCCoA was getting a bit too serious and wasn't feeling very 'Crash-esque' to me. For those among you who actually _do_ like tCCoA, I will go back to working on it after a few chapters of this are done. If you didn't know, the title for this one is a reference to the original name for Mind Over Mutant. It is a pun on 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers'. Also, before anyone asks, the original MOM title had 'Crash' not 'Kuro'. Hope you like this thing. BTW, if I didn't make it (up) it belongs to either NaughtyDog, Sierra, or Activision. No Flaming.]**

_Kuruoshii Bandicoot and the Invasion of the Bandicoot Snatchers_

_(simpler title:) Kuro and the Invasion of the Bandicoot Snatchers_

Episode I: Twinsane Troubles

* * *

**[DO: I was going to start with some character info, but it would have taken forever. If you need to know what they look like exactly and I haven't given a detailed writing in any of my fanfics, look at my profile thing when I update it, it'll have some info on their appearance and stuff like that]**

Kuro walked out of his penthouse suite in VonClutch's Faculty Hotel in MotoWorld. When he actually began to add more to the park than just a few tracks, the park acutally started to get some business. A new 'land' was even added: Shops and Dwelling, AKA Midway2. His room was fine for his needs, but the hallway left quite alot to be desired. There were large poles placed randomly to hold up the failing ceiling as well as quite a few buckets every few feet where the pitiful roof leaked. There was a weird old man who lived in the attic, but he didn't seem to care about the fact that one day the floor of his home could just be gone.

As he walked down the pitiful hall, he noticed several forms of new mold that he didn't recognize before. They were red, purple, and neon blue. The latter of which, he discovered upon closer examination, not only smelled minty but had a Park Drone stuck to it. He hadn't noticed at first because the drone was unconscious and therefore making no noise. He tried to free the drone but to no avail, the mold incasing him was just too thick.

Unfortunately, his efforts stirred the drone who began to scream and flail around violently. Kuro quickly ducked out of his line of sight and quietly slinked out into an intersection of a few hallways. There he found just the person he was looking for.

* * *

Coco heard him approaching from quite a distance, the sound of the screaming drone startled her a little, but not very seriously. She figured that it was Kuro's fault based on the way he entered the four-way. Three of the hallways led to other rooms, the fourth led to two staircases and a single elevator. She turned to look at Kuro just as he rose up from his crouching position. He quickly embraced her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, making Coco blush.

"What are you doing here?" Kuro asked Coco as he let her go. It took a second for her to calm down enough to reply, "Crash and Crunch are racing in the Tournament. They dragged me along even though I don't plan on entering. I got bored and decided to come visit you." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, as she returned to her previous position she noticed Kuro's power crystal shaped tattoo. "I thought you had decided _not_ to get that tattoo Kuro! The other one I can live with, but a power crystal on your left tricep? Are you ok? Is this some kind of early mid-life crisis?" Kuro laughed and Coco laughed a little too.

Kuro adored the sound of Coco's laugh, it was one of the things that had attracted him to her in the beginning. He had worked hard to get to where he was with Coco. It took him over a year to deter all of the 'suitors' that had suddenly appeared on Wumpa Island when Coco had become available afte moving out of her brother's house. His comedy, brashness, and knack for sticking himself into convenient places to intrude on a conversation had amused Coco. She had originally only seen him as a strange friend but as the other attempts at her dwindled, Kuro suddenly changed. He became kind, compassionate, gentle and caring. It turned out that the arrogant comic was just a facade to differentiate himself from other guys. There was a time where she didn't know which Kuro she liked better but then she realized that it didn't matter, they were both part of the same Kuro and she liked all of him.

Kuro felt the same way about Coco, much to the annoyance of Crash and Crunch. Once they officially began dating, whenever Aku Aku was in the same room as the two of them he began asking weird questions about cucumbers, pickles, balloons, and bananas. VonClutch also treated the pair in a similar manner, though more blunt.

"Iffink your planning to plunge ze torpedo en ze cave, do it on your own time, ya? Zere it too much money at zake for you to be going zoff every ten minutes to go scraw your voman." Kuro was confused as to what he had meant, but when Coco whispered a brief translation, his face reddened to a surprising level. He had much rather preferred Crash's silent dissapproval.

* * *

Kuro and Coco went into the elevator, which was empty for once, and as the doors closed Kuro spoke. "You know, due to budget cuts, there are no cameras in this elevator. Thought you'd like to-" He was cut off as Coco threw her arms around him and kissed him on the lips. His hands, throw up in surprise, fell down to Coco's waist. He had more dignity than people thought he would have.

When the elevator came to a stop on the ground floor, VonClutch was standing there smiling. When Kuro asked him what was up he replied. "You do know that vee found enough money en zign budget to get ze new elevator cameras. It vaz an interestink first tape, you are a skilled man Kuro," before Kuro could interject, VonClutch continued, "I might even give you zat raise you have been asking for, ya? I know now zat it von't be vasted on stupid thinks. It will be in ze mail by ze end of ze veek. Guten tagh banzicoots."

* * *

**[DO: Cut kinda short for now. If you have any suggestions for additional parts, just lemme know!]**


	2. Episode 2: The Check is in The Mail

**[DO: Hey, somewhat valued readers! I say somewhat because I have no clue how many people are actually reading this at this point. Well, here is episode 2 (changed from chapters now) of Kuro and the Invasion of the Bandicoot Snatchers!]**

_Kuro and the Invasion of the Bandicoot Snatchers_

Episode 2: The Check's in the Mail, I Think...

**[DO: BTW, I will be reformatting episode/chapter titles to make it easier to follow from now on!]**

* * *

Kuro and Coco walked out of the hotel lobby, both confused by VonClutch's offer (previous episode) but somewhat cheered up by it nonetheless. As they walked out into the vastness of MotorWorld Midway, they found something that dismayed them, Coco more than Kuro.

An unfortunately familiar face was skulking around the simple booths of Midway, Nina Cortex. Kuro wouldn't have been all that concerned if he hadn't known about her history and ever-present rivalry with Coco.

They tried to sneak into HEF (Happily Ever Faster) without being spotted, but they were given away when a Drone shouted to Kuro for his help in getting his friend out of a series of exposed gears. Nina turned around to see Kuro arguing with the drone and her rival standing off to the side.

Kuro cut the argument short when he kicked the drone in the chest, he was so much taller than the drone he had been aiming for his knee. Just as they were within the entryway to HEF, they heard Nina call out to them. "I see you over there, Bandicoots! Hold it right there! I've got something to say to you two!" Kuro glanced over at Coco who returned his look with a somewhat scared face. They ran off into the land, Nina in pursuit.

While they looked for a place to hide, Kuro realized, "Hey, isn't this where Crash bought those outfits for you and him?" Coco nodded, "Yeah, the 'Agent C.R.A.S.H' and 'Princess Coco' outfits, which weren't all that good anyway, why?" Kuro grinned. He ran over to two drones wearing orange t-shirts over their uniforms (to replace the floating ones in CTTR) and took the outfits from them, throwing a wad of Wumpa Coins to each of them. He got extra money in his job from 'dealing with' Ninja Penguins. He and Coco hid behind a group of trees.

"Great, we got the stuff and a hiding spot, but what now-" before she could finish, Kuro was undressing rapidly. Coco's face turned red, "I thought we weren't making _that_ step yet Kuro?" Kuro replied without looking at her, "Dirty mind. Get changed. Disquised from Nina. Hide in Evilocity Area." He talked simply like this whenever he was feeling a strong emotion, feeling, or sensation. In this case, it was a mixture of panic and fear. He had finished changing into his Agent C.R.A.S.H disquise and turned around as Coco changed into her Princess disquise.

As he stood facing the other way a thought peeked into his head, "Ever wonder what a secret agent and a princess have in common? Same with the fuzzy slippers I ended up with left over (reference to N Gin's one CTTR request for his slippers)." Coco shook her head as she pulled the dress over her shoulders though Kuro couldn't see, "I don't really know either, except," she put the high-heeled shoes on, "there is one connection I can make," she turned around and ended up face-to-face with Kuro who whispered, "I know," and kissed her.

They heard Nina approaching. Kuro and Coco snuck around her toward the Evilocity-esque area of Happily Ever Faster. On the way, Kuro stopped at a chicken sitting precariously on a ledge. He leaned over and said something to it that Coco could not understand, though the chicken could. The chicken jumped into Kuro's hand as the tossed it at Nina.

She turned just as it connected with her, hitting her in the face. The chicken exploded in a cloud of feathers around Nina, each of the feathers turning into a new chicken. Nina quickly became trapped in a pile of immoble chickens. Kuro stayed rooted in to the spot as he held out his arm, his palm flat, and snapped his fingers on his other hand. The original chicken appeared in his hand.

Coco stared, amazed. "How did you, you know what, nevermind. I don't really want to know, let's just get out of here." They left Happily Ever Faster hiding in a large crate to change in the interim.

* * *

In VonClutch's 'Castle', really just the staff hotel, (The original one collapsed after the .000000000000001 quake from Kuro throwing the chicken at Nina) VonClutch was going over paperwork when he found his memo about Kuro's raise. He had already sent out Kuro's check at the old amount.

"Stupid drones, not cleaning mine desk." VonClutch said. He got up, memo in hand, and walked out of his office.

**[DO: Cut short due to time constraints...]**


	3. Episode 3: Thinking with Your Mask

**[DO: Hopefully this part will be up to my desired lenght and I won't be forced to cut it short for whatever reason. BTW, this part will deviate from the so-called plot of the story so far. There isn't really supposed to be a clearly connected story at this point anyway.]**

_Kuro and the Invasion of the Bandicoot Snatchers_

Episode 3: Thinking with Your Mask

* * *

Kuro wandered around the simple little shops in MotorWorld's new shopping area. Nearly every booth was either stupid $0.50 trinkets sold for $50, a cheezy carnival game, some kind of semi-edible food, or something loaded with inuendos. Kuro stopped in front of one of the carnival games, one of those ones where you have to hit the stack of bottles with a baseball, and paid the bored-as-hell drone and picked up his 5-5 set (5 throws for $5). The first shot he nailed the stack of bottles perfect, the second and third as well. The fourth almost left one, but as the top fell, it took it with it. There was only one stack left and Kuro was aiming for the shot.

Then, inconvenience struck him. Coco ran up to him and grabbed on to him talking quickly, incoherently, and incomprehensibly. This happened just as Kuro took his shot which hit the drone in what was most likely his forehead, it was hard to tell. There was a plus to it, it woke up the drone who watched the ball ricochet into the final stack, taking down two of the three bottles.

The drone reluctantly stood up from his (worn out) cushioned stool, grabbed a random prize, and handed it to Kuro. It was a tiny stuffed tiger resembling Pura.

Coco's attention rapidly shifted from whatever had been bothering her to the little tiger that Kuro now held in his hand. She asked him what it was for, a slight sparkle in her eyes as she stared at the tiny stuffed animal.

Seeing as Kuro hadn't intended to win anything, he shrugged and handed it to Coco who let out a girlish squeal as the little tiger fell into her hands. She let out an extensive string of "Thank You's" and ran off to put it in her room.

As Kuro turned around, he saw Crash and Aku Aku standing (and in Aku Aku's case floating) there. Crash folded his arms across his chest and gave Kuro a disapproving look, Aku Aku was more awkward and less helpful.

"You know Kuro, Coco is like a daughter to me and I'd hate to see such a strapping young man as yourself make a wrong choice and end up pulling two-or-more jobs to cover an entire family. I think I can trust you to make the right choice." Before Kuro could imply as to what Aku Aku was talking about, he felt a large cold piece of metal touch his shoulder.

Kuro wheeled around to see Crunch looming before him (Kuro is between Crash and Crunch in height). Crunch, being ever so blunt, answered Kuro's unasked question in what seemed to be the most awkward and uncomfortable way possible.

"Sex before marriage is bad. Abstinance until twenty is the way." He then winked and gave Kuro a thumbs-up with his other hand. Kuro resisted the urge to make a GI Joe joke. He failed.

"Now I know." and Crunch replied just as he knew he would, "And knowing is half the battle!" Then Aku Aku kept the bad joke going by muttering "G-I-Joooooeeee..." Kuro laughed to himself, waited for someone to say anything else and when no one did, he walked away.

* * *

Kuro's wanderings never seemed very productive but he kept wandering around anyway. He decided to go to VC's 'Castle' for no particular reason except perhaps to see if he had a new assignment to get some more Ninja Penguins.

As he walked up to the castle's lift entrance, he looked at the spot where Willie Wumpa Cheeks used to stand. As he reflected on his psychotic former co-worker he muttered to himself, "I'm only sending you twelve Christmas cards this year...What a weirdo." He then looked over at the large statue of VonClutch with his hand awkwardly outstretched. It had been a rather strange place to "hide" one of the park's power gems and it seemed incomplete without it there.

Kuro, being nearly as bored as a park drone, clambered up to the hand of the statue and posed on it as if he were a bat or a vampire or something of the sort. Just as he was about to get down a group of tourist saw him and asked for pictures. After twenty minutes of pictures, Kuro jumped down off of the old statue and went up into the castle.

* * *

Upon entering the old dump of a castle the first thing Kuro noticed was a notice on the billboard:

_NOTICE TO ALL VonCLUTCH's MOTORWORLD EMPLOYEES_

_ALL STAFF RELOCATED TO CASTLE DUE TO COLLAPSE OF STAFF HOTEL DUE TO UNKNOWN CONDITIONS_

_THIS IS _NOT_ OPTIONAL_

_ALL STAFF MUST CONFORM OR BE LAID OFF_

_SIDE NOTICE: ALL OF YOUR CRAP HAS BEEN MOVED TO THE EQUIVALENT OF YOUR OLD ROOM IN THE STAFF HOTEL SEE MAP FOR REFERENCE_

Kuro found it apparent that VonClutch himself did not write the notice. There would have been a ton of typos and he would have used a word worse than crap. He then looked at the castle map and found that his new room was the south west corner penthouse. They weren't located the same, but they were numbered the same, made apparent by the fact that no two adjacent rooms had a number that was even close to one another.

He decided to check out his new 'home' and headed up the elevator to the penthouse level. On this level there were only nine rooms. The corner penthouses, a penthouse per side, and VonClutch's room in the middle.

As he reaced his room he found that the door was already open and, not thinking much of it, walked in. He found VonClutch going through his mail.

"VonClutch?! What the hell are you doing with my mail?" His sudden exclamation startled VonClutch who, grabbing an envelope, walked briskly through the door saying, "I azzidentally mailed you ze wrong check, ya? I didn't forget zine bonus, ya? Guten tagh Kuro." With that, VonClutch hurried down the west hall and cut suddenly to the left, towards his room. Kuro stared after his boss up until this point then shrugged and reentered his room which he had left to see where VonClutch was headed.

* * *

It was nicer than Kuro had expected. The wall adjacent to the door of the main room, he guessed the living room, was almost entirely a large window. The upside to this was that MotorWorld itself was almost entirely out of view of the window and that Kuro could see the sunset. He walked around the penthouse and found a kitchen, two bathrooms, a dining room, an enertainment room with an HD flatscreen TV and a PS3, and all that was left was a door that Kuro supposed to be his new bedroom.

As Kuro opened the door, he saw something that surprised him more than the rest of the room's grandeur. Coco was asleep in the bed, her clothes on the floor next to her. Kuro was confused as to what was going on but when he backtracked out to the living room, he saw that the sun had already begun to set. When he saw this, Kuro was overcome with a sense of exhaustion from walking around all day.

He returned to his bedroom and got undressed down to his boxers. The only other things he left on were his watch, his gloves, and the pendant he wore on his neck. As he laid down, he felt something odd in his pillow. After sticking his hand within the pillowcase, Kuro drew out a charm bracelet adorned with pink and blue flower and a pink letter C. He also found a note, recognizing Coco's handwriting:

_Kuro,_

_I made you this to make up for you giving me the tiger. It's so cute! Thank you again! Also, Crash and Crunch got their rooms moved when the hotel collapsed and their new room has only two beds so VonClutch let me share this room with you._

_I'll probably be asleep by the time you read this so, good night!_

_Hugs and kisses, _

_Coco_

Kuro put the bracelet around his left wrist (his watch already claimed his right) and hunkered down for the night and, as if she knew he was there, Coco scooted over and put her arms around Kuro's neck. He realized then that she had actually gotten changed into a pair of pajamas. He hit himself for thinking otherwise.

* * *

**[DO: Next episode will come quick with the upcoming weekend! Review or Kuro will pelt you with baseballs in your sleep and Aku Aku will try and give you relationship advice!]**


	4. Episode 4: ImPerfect Valentine's Day

**[DO: I know Valentine's Day was a while ago, but I got this idea today anyway. If you like things being cronically synced with reality, tough luck]**

_Kuro and the Invasion of the Bandicoot Snatchers_

Episode 4: An (Im)Perfect Valentine's Day

* * *

Kuro was roused from his rock-like sleep by the cold and somewhat hard floor of his bedroom. He had no idea how he ended up there until he looked up at his bed and saw Coco, still asleep, on the edge of the bed.

Kuro chuckled to himself and shook his head as he stood up and got dressed. He went out to the kitchen to fix some breakfast and, stuck to the microwave, was a note written in Coco's now familliar handwriting:

_Kuro,_

_I got up early this morning, so I decided to make you something for breakfast. I left it in the fridge, it's wrapped in foil on the top shelf. All you have to do is put it in the microwave for about 30 seconds and eat. If I don't wake you up going back to bed, good morning._

_Endless love,_

_Coco_

The brief moment in which Kuro read the last lines of the note seemed to last forever. The sound of his own stomach growling tore him away from the note and toward the fridge. Just as Coco's note had said, on the top shelf of the fridge was a package rapped in foil. Kuro unwrapped the package to find a rather large waffle of some sort. Seeing as though there wasn't a toaster in the apartment and he couldn't tell just _what_ was the oven, Kuro put the waffle on a plate and tossed it in the microwave for 30 seconds as per Coco's instructions.

When the waffle was ready, Kuro sat down at the table in the simple dining room and ate in silence. When he finished, he took his plate and silverware back to the kitchen, washed them off, and put them in the sink. The next thing he did was look at his watch, he wasn't late, but his pre-work free time was beginning to wear down. He walked back in to his bedroom, as soon as he entered he wished he had decided to knock first.

Unbeknownst to Kuro while he was preparing and eating his waffle, Coco had woken up and started to get dressed. He had walked in at about the halfway point. Coco let out a sharp little scream when Kuro opened the door.

Kuro, his face red, immediately shielded his eyes with his arm and tried to head out the door, only to walk into the wall instead. He fell back and everything went black for what felt like only a minute, but when Kuro woke up, he was lying in bed (still clothed) and Coco was sitting on the bed next to him with a concerned look on her face. She was the first of them to speak.

"Are you ok Kuro? You hit your head pretty hard." Kuro smiled a little and nodded, "It only felt like I was out for a minute and I feel fine now. How long _was_ I out anyway?" Coco's reply startled Kuro, "You've been unconscious for a few hours. VonClutch called an hour ago to find out why you never came in for work. He was here a half an hour ago to see if you'd woken up yet. If it had been another half hour, they'd have taken you to the hospital. I was so worried I haven't left the apartment all day." A tear krept its way into Kuro's eye, "I'm sorry I ruined your day today Coco. Is there any way I can make it up to you?" Coco let out a half-hearted laugh.

"Well, Kuro, you do owe me the rest of Valentine's Day. We've spent the most of it in this room. You comatose, me waiting for you to wake up, but now that you're awake and alive we can go out and enjoy the rest of the day." Kuro's eyes widened, he'd forgotten that today was Valentine's Day. He'd had an entire day planned out for Coco, but it was all ruined now.

Kuro got out of bed, walked over to the wall, and punched it. He dropped to his knees and sat there, the knuckles on his right hand bloody from where he had punched the concrete wall. Coco walked over to him and put her arm around his shoulders and knelt next to him. The two of them sat there for what felt like an eternity. The quiet moment was interrupted when there was a loud series of knocks coming from the door.

Coco stood and headed towards the door to see who it was. Kuro stood a moment later and walked to one of the bathrooms and bandaged up his hand. It had already topped bleeding, but it was still sore. Kuro's silent introspective moment in the bathroom was broken by strange sounds coming from the living room.

Kuro rushed out of the bathroom to find the one person out of all of the people in the MotorWorld he detested the most, Blake Opossum (CrashFad13's OC - he also likes Coco). Blake was standing there in the doorway, his erratic brown hair and grey racer suit as cool as a book of matches on the sun. They had a rivalry twice as strong as Coco had with Nina Cortex.

Nearly everyone in the MotorWorld knew that Blake dated just about any girl that was easy to look at, this annoyed Kuro to no end. Apparently, Blake was trying to get Coco back and they had begun to argue when Kuro had come out of the bathroom. Blake nonchalantly stepped the rest of the way through the door, stopping only when he was nearly nose-to-nose with Kuro.

The two stared at each other for a long time. Neither wanted to throw the first punch in what would be a seemingly epic fight throughout the castle in which VonClutch had settled most of his staff. Kuro pondered for a half-second what to say but before he could say anything, Blake began to speak as his stiff posture faded, "Hey, you guys have a TV? Leo (CF13's OC - Blake's little brother) broke ours and I'm bored."

Kuro's jaw fell open. After he pushed it shut, he offered up his reply, "Second room on the...left... What are you doing here Blake?" Blake sighed just like many high school students do nowadays, "Man, I thought I'd told you about Leo and the dart gun. Even I'm not that-" Kuro cut him off with a sharp raise of his hand, "I meant, _other_ than that."

Blake tilted his head to look at Coco who was still standing by the door, "I'd heard from Leo who heard from Pasadena who heard from VonClutch who heard from Cortex who heard from Uka Uka who heard from Aku Aku that you were dating Coco now."

Out of nowhere, Blake's older sister, Laura poked her head in the doorway, "Wow, I think that's the longest sentence you've ever said that actually made sense! I've got to tell _everyone_ about this!" Then just as suddenly as she had appeared, Laura left. Kuro and Blake glanced at each other.

Kuro was the first to speak, "You know, I've got Modern Warfare 2 in the other room. Want to blow some losers up?" A sudden gleam came over Blake's eyes, "Let's own some noobs!"

Then, as if they'd been friends forever, the two rivals headed off towards the entertainment room talking about weapon combinations for custom classes (whatever those were) and stratedgies. Coco, still yet to move, stared after them, confused beyond belief.

_Well, _she thought, _if they become friends, that'll lighten the tension around here. It'll also help me deal with all of the stuff Blake tries to pull._ She paused and smirked, _He thinks I don't know but what he doesn't know is that Pasadena Laura and Leo all send me a text if Blake pulls something._ Satisfied, Coco walked off towards the bedroom and opened the doors of the large walk-in closet. Half of which she already dominated with her own things.

After an hour of Modern Warfare, Blake always won, the two walked out, arguing again. "I told you before Blake, camping is _not_ a mature way to play!" Blake just chuckled, "You're just pissed because I beat you." Kuro shook his head, they were in the hallway outside Kuro's room now, "Like I just said, camping's pretty much cheating. It's the cheapest, crappiest, and least respectable way to win." Blake just stared at him blankly, there were too many big words for him to process efficiently.

* * *

**[DO: This is going to lead into a sort of cross-over between CrashFad13's Opossum Life fanfic and KatIotBS... To CF13, you can continue off of this one in your own way and I'll do mine. We'll see which one people think is cooler.]**


	5. Episode 5: Transfer?

_[Sorry for being dead with this for so long, I had kinda lost my notes and stuff and had other things to do like Elyas Advent and all. After reading my buddy CF13's newest Opossum Life fanfiction (I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT FOR THE MANY LAUGHS!) I was re-inspired to continue this as more of a similar format to Opossum Life - Medium length, semi-related one-shots that make you laugh at least once or your money back, and since you don't pay for this, it doesn't matter. Anyway, we last left off a looooooong time ago, and now we return to Kuro's fantabulous misadventures. No flaming or any of that. Thanks for your patience! - DO]_

_Kuro and the Invasion of the Bandicoot Snatchers_

Episode 5: Transfer?

* * *

Kuro woke up from what had been a VERY long night. He had gotten stuck in the Tyrannosaurus Wrecks T-Rex head whilst chasing a gaggle of penguins (he didn't come up with the wording, Coco did to make it sound better to VC) and had been stuck up there for seven hours. It took until Coco had called him to see if he was free for dinner for Kuro to realize that he had had his phone the whole time. After a heavy set of face-palms, Kuro had explained the situation to Coco who in turn called every force available to get him out. It then took three MORE hours to explain to everyone what exactly happened. What really sucked? That happened 3 hours ago, yep Kuro had to work a full day on less than 3 hours of sleep.

As he headed down to the mailbox to get his new assignment, he noticed something off immediately. Several other employees-including Coco, Blake (CF13's Character) and VonClutch, none of which really WORKED there-were all crowded around his mail slot. Coco was the first to notice him. "What's up with everyone?" Kuro asked as he strolled down the rest of the distance to the mailboxes. "It's this," Coco handed Kuro a black envelope with a red seal on the back in the shape of an A and had his name printed in red ink on the front.

Upon closer examination of the seal - Kuro always THOROUGHLY inspected his mail after the little present Leo (another of CF13's characters, Blake Opossum's younger brother) had sent him, he still couldn't get the smell out of that shirt - Kuro noticed what everyone was so tense about. Around the large red A, the words "Madame Amberly's Academy of Evil" were printed in a similar font. Kuro nervously opened the letter.

Inside, a simple piece of (slightly burnt) parchment had an unexpected message written in an evil-looking script:

_To whom it May EVILLY Concern,_

_Upon receiving this letter, you have been selected to attend Madame Amberly's Academy of Evil. Upon opening this letter, you have accepted this invitation. A representative from the school will arrive in one day to...escort you to the academy. Please take this last day to pack your EVIL belongings, say farewell to your EVIL friends and EVIL family, and prepare yourself for an EVIL year at Madame Amberly's Academy of Evil. Be warned, once you enter our gates, an entire EVIL year must be completed. There is no escape. You cannot refuse. If you have read this far, you probably are still looking for some EVIL way to get out of this EVIL contract. Let me tell you this, there is no way out of it. That is it's EVIL design._

_EVILLY,_

_Count Fry Dae XIII, EVIL History Teacher_

Count Fry Dae XIII

* * *

Kuro had been reading the letter aloud and when he finished, Coco rushed over and hugged him around the waist. "I don't want you to go!" Kuro hugged her back, "I have to, there's no way out of it." Coco began to cry.

Kuro separated himself from her and knelt down enough so that he was eye level with her. As he wiped a tear from her eye he said, "Don't worry, I'll push through it and be back at the end of the year." Coco began to say something, but Kuro put his index finger in front of her mouth and said, "In one piece too. Don't worry so much Coco, I can handle this. They didn't name me Kuro for nothing, eh?" He put up his right hand in a sort of victory sign and hugged Coco again. Though muffled by Kuro's chest, he still hears Coco say "I know you can. I...I just don't know if I can go that long without you." Looking up, Kuro notice that she had been wearing a little makeup because it had started to run down the sides of her face.

Wiping some of it off of her cheek, Kuro said "Relax, I'll mail you letters and all that. It's not like I'm going to be sealed off from the world or something." Then Dr. Cortex strolled by, "Oh, you will. Any mail incoming or outgoing is intercepted and read in front of the entire class. I wouldn't send ANYTHING if I were you." Then he left without a word, Coco began to start whimpering again, tears slowly rolling down her face.

Blake, being as annoyed as ever (he liked Coco too) tried to find something to do. Then he noticed the shiny wax seal on Kuro's letter and began to look over it. Then he noticed the very unsettling detail that everyone else had missed. Though Kuro was his arch-rival for the most part and would be glad to be rid of him for a while, this was not a fair way to do it. So, mustering up every microbe of honor he had (all seven of them) and showed the envelope to Kuro again, pointing to the header of the letter. It was dated a day ago.

Just as the group had let this sink in, a small man in a black suit with red pinstripes, a red shirt, and a black tie walked in the door. His ragged top hat barely hung onto the top of itself as the man bobbed his way to Kuro. As he approached, Coco looked and began to bawl as he had the Academy of Evil's insignia on his breast-pocket. Kuro "passed" Coco to Blake much to his chagrin and turned to the small man who introduced himself as Mr. Durwood Shackelford of the Academy's Attendance Department. He gave Kuro an hour to pack, in which he successfully did (to _everyone's_ surprise) and straightened his hat (though it still was on backwards) as he descended the last few steps to reach Mr. Shackelford and begin the walk to the small black zeppelin waiting outside.

Before he stepped inside, he kissed Coco on the cheek (infuriating Blake) and waved to VonClutch saying that Blake could do his job when he wasn't in school or doing a gig (smirking as Blake jumped when VonClutch accepted the offer saying that Blake didn't need to be paid).

And so Kuro set out for his newest misadventure at the Academy of Evil...!

_[I'm going to be listening to Academy of Evil OST (original soundtrack) music when writing Academy of Evil parts to further the creative...flow. - DO]_


	6. Episode 6: School Daze

**[The first episode to take place in our new setting, the Academy of Evil! Once again, these will be (usually) medium-length semi-related one-shots featuring Kuro's misadventures in the Academy of Evil AND what happens back at MotorWorld while he's gone...No flaming or any of that. I am listening to Classroom Chaos (Crash) from the Crash Twinsanity OST for the most part. Look for it on YouTube, it's REALLY good! Enjoy - DO]**

_Kuro and the Invasion of - THE ACADEMY OF EVIL?_

Episode 6: School Daze

* * *

As Kuro stepped off of the small black zeppelin with Mr. Shackelford and two other new students he was greeted by a pair of large black dogs wearing spiked collars barking incessantly. His first destination was to the Main Office to get signed in and receive his schedule for the year. As he stepped across the courtyard, several vents let off violent bursts of steam that startled the new students behind him. Though Kuro was surprised himself by them, he was able to mask it very well.

Mr. Shackelford bobbled past the trio of new students and held open the office door. Kuro noticed that, probably in ill-not-rectified-humor the sign formerly saying Office - in Kuro's guess - was replaced with an eerie skull and cross bones. Though this thought was shot down when Mr. Shackelford said, "I've always liked that sign. Fitting." Kuro gulped slightly as he stepped into the office and was face to face with Frank Steinborough (thanks to an almost non-existent name tag who resembled the name his resembled, Frankenstein. After adjusting a seam in his wrist and turning one of the bolts in his neck, Frank passed the students their schedules.

It was only then that Kuro realized who he was standing next to: his ex. Candice Bandicoot hand once had an eerily strong amount of affection towards him and had tried to fully move in with him after their second date. Kuro eventually broke it off when she began asking about prospect child names (on their fourth date). She had an extensive period of depression that eventually turned into hatred which - through plot development - somehow gave her magic powers. She raised her baggily sleeved arm and let her hand roughly fall on Kuro's right shoulder saying, "You know, Kuro. I never actually liked this tattoo," tracing the tattoo (like Crash's in MOM/OTT but the full arm) with her index finger. She stopped at his wrist. Looking down, Kuro realized he had his watch on his left wrist and Coco's bracelet (Thinking With Your Mask) on his right.

"Ooo, Kuro! What's this here?" Candice said, tugging slightly at the bracelet with her thumb and index finger. "This 'C' isn't _me_ so, who is it? It better not be who I think it is..." She paused and looked up at Kuro whispering, "Coco." Seeing as Candice had a somewhat secret loathing for Coco, which Kuro knew about, he smiled and nodded slightly. "Now, if you don't mind, I have a..." Kuro looked at his new schedule, "EVIL History Class to go to. So, ciao." He wasn't even through the door before Candice said, "With Mr. Dae? Me too!" Kuro froze but Candice laughed and revealed, "Haha, I got you newbie. You should know that people will lie, cheat, steal, pretty much do anything to pass in this place. You've got your work cut out for you here goody two shoes."

Kuro laughed and turned his head around to catch Candice with his right eye and said, "Goody two shoes? Now who's the newbie? This _is_ the Academy of Evil after all! How in the WORLD would a _goody two shoes_ get into a school like this, let alone safely? I'd look over our past if I were you. I get _paid_ to chase and harass people out of places, remember? Well, bye-bye Candy Cake(his old pet name for her)." Mr. Shackelford, Frank and the other new student (Karyn, but we'll get to her, she's Human by the way and is derived from Guitar Hero, so it'll be interesting...) just stared at her until she left the room, then they cracked up laughing.

* * *

In his EVIL History Class the teacher was Count Fry Dae XIII, as Candice had said. He made it clear in the first 5 minutes all of the following things, he's an EVILLY fast talker:

-This is an EVIL School

-This is an EVIL Class

-He is an EVIL Teacher

-His EVIL daughters Holly and Dawn are in the class (Holly is blond and Dawn is brunette, that's all you need for now)

-The EVIL Class is currently studying the EVIL Geography of the EVIL School

-No matter how EVIL one's homework may be it must be EVILLY on-time or it will be a SINISTER (another word he emphasizes) Zero

-Kuro's first EVIL homework assignment is a 10000 SINISTERLY EVIL word report on the 10th and 11th Dimensions with comparison and contrasting with the 3rd Dimension. Due by the end of the EVIL week (Today is Wednesday)

* * *

After class, Kuro staggered into the dimly lit hallway toting a massive stack of papers for assignments. He only made it three feet before he tripped on his own feet because he couldn't see around the mass of papers. Similar scenarios occurred at the ending of each of his following classes. At one point, Kuro finally had a break to go to "lunch", though he wouldn't call it lunch since it was already dark outside. In fact, now that Kuro thought about it, it was _always_ dark at the Academy. After spending a while searching for a spot, Kuro found himself an empty table where he could sit and eat by himself. Though he'd wished otherwise, after a few minutes another student sat across the round table from Kuro in the dimly lit cafeteria. After a few minutes of eating, the student introduced herself as Karyn, the other new student besides him and Candice. After talking for a while, it had seemed that Kuro had found a friend in Karyn who had been looking to recruit some members for a band when she decided to stop and eat and found herself there. As lunch came to a close, Karyn said to Kuro that if he ever had a musical need, she would give him a hand.

Eventually, the day came to a close and Kuro found himself looking around the courtyard searching for the dorms. As he found his way to the fountain, he encountered his ex yet again. Kuro didn't actually notice Candice at first. She revealed herself to him by calling out as he walked past, "Hey _Goody Two Shoes_!" Kuro flinched a little before he turned and looked at her. "You looking for the dorms?" Candice asked as Kuro stepped towards her. After a brief nod from Kuro, Candice cracked up laughing saying "The dorms are on the _other_ end of campus, you aren't even close."

Kuro sighed, then Candice tapped the fountain saying "You know _what_ this is?" Kuro's obvious response was, "a fountain" followed by more laughing from Candice. "I know it _looks_ like a fountain but is it _really_ a fountain?" Following Kuro's puzzled look, Candice pressed down on a section of the fountain which gave in like a switch, lowering several of the panels on the ground around it like stairs. "Here's your way to the dorms," Candice said, "Apparently a while ago some student carved this passage out cutting through the Boiler Room using an unused pipe to get straight to the dorms without the walk through the courtyard.

Looking down the stairs Kuro asked, "It really goes to the dorms?" Candice nodded, "Yep. Right to them, no detours." Hesitating before he went down, Kuro had a thought. "Why would you help me like this? You only got your powers from your hatred of me..." Candice blinked with a surprised look, "Kuro! I can't believe that you think so lowly of me!" Smirking she added, "You should know I am _always_ serious." Grabbing Candice by the collar of her short-sleeved hoodie, Kuro walked down the stairs dragging his ex with him.

"What, what are you _doing_ Kuro? I don't need to go to the dorms right now..!" Kuro chuckled as they reached the bottom of the stairs and were greeted with a heavy metal door which opened slowly as Candice stood. Before she could leave Kuro said, "You know Candice, Coco does have something you never did when when we were dating." Candice froze where she stood, facing back towards the stairs and twitched slightly. After a brief pause Kuro continued, "She has understanding and sympathy. She cares about _me_ and my _needs_ sometimes above her own. To the best of my memory, I cannot recall you ever thinking-truthfully-about me before you. I don't really care if you bail on me now but think of it this way: how honorable would you be if you let your rivalry with Coco end with such a dirty trick as this? I am pretty sure this doesn't lead to the dorms but I still want to know where it goes. You can come with me if you want."

Candice stood, rooted in her place for a long time. Eventually, Kuro said a brief goodbye; patted her on the shoulder; and left through the door. Before it could close behind Kuro, Candice jumped through the opening.

* * *

**[Kuro and the Invasion of the Bandicoot Snatchers is still the title, the Academy of Evil bit in the beginning was just a joke on the shift in location. No flaming or any of that, credit for official content from Twinsanity and other Crash things goes to their individual creators, the stuff I made is mine, etc. Hope you enjoy, the next part will be soon since it's a weekend here! - DO]**


	7. Episode 7: Boiler Room of Doom and Stuff

**[The climactic excursion of Kuro and Candice through the Boiler Room of Doom! For some bizarre reason I'm listening to Spyro music this time...Oh well. No flaming or any of that garbage! Enjoy! -Darth Omix]**

_Kuro and the Invasion of the Bandicoot Snatchers_

Episode 7: The Boiler Room of Doom...And...Well...Things!

* * *

Kuro and Candice wandered around the tunnels for what felt like hours (it was only 45 minutes though...) until they finally found a door bigger than all the rest.

"I don't like the look of this Kuro..." Candice said, looking around her, she had enough to deal with..with the 'giant' bugs and all that...

"Don't worry so much Candice, I mean..._Seriously_. I have plenty of skills, not to mention the fact that you (_conveniently_) have _Magic Powers_! If you can't handle a few more bugs, how could you possibly become the most EVIL student here?" Kuro shook his head and stepped towards the door. Light jets of steam released the pressure holding some of the locks on the door shut. There were still two large blue valves to turn, one on either side of the pathway.

"Looks like we each have to turn one simultaneously to open the door...You ready?" Candice nodded, "Anything to get away from these blasted bugs!"

[_Author's Note: Went back to Crash music here..._]

As the duo began to turn the valves, more steam came out of the unseen jets around the door. Once they were finished (or so they presumed, as the valves eventually popped off and released more steam), the large metal door slid roughly open...

Inside was a large complex of twisting pipes and passageways all stemming from one central nexus. Various terminals were scattered around the center, one of which was being operated by a pair of individuals who were clad in Academy uniforms. As the duo attempted to sneak past, a _small_ spider made Candice yelp, giving them away.

The twins, Brodwen and Blodwen, murmured something under their breath and threw some sort of energy ball at Kuro and Candice. It knocked the pair back into the wall.

Thanks to plot development, while Candice smacked into a cluster of pipes, Kuro flew into a portal gizmo. Unfortunately - also due to plot development - the portal gizmo was improperly calibrated, therefore having no set destination. Kuro could have been sent anywhere!

[_AN: Fortunately for the people reading this...I know exactly where he's ended up..._]

Skidding through the exit vortex, Kuro found himself in an unfamiliar, yet bizarrely familiar place...The sky was a strange hue, as was the water and seemingly dead grass. The place resembled N Sanity Island, but different. Broken. Reversed, even. NAH! Just kidding...He's not on Twinsanity Island!

(_Seriously no_w...) Kuro lied unconscious in an alleyway surrounded by boxes and various junk. As he stirred awake, he found himself to be in a rather familiar alley. In the Future City created by Cortex's abuse of the Power Crystals (future levels in Crash Warped)...(_GOTCHA AGAIN!...These were two rejected ideas coming from me free-writing this..._)

[_FINALLY!_]

Kuro was thrown from the vortex into the Midway of VonClutch's MotorWorld, right in front of Crash, Crunch, Coco, and Aku-Aku (the group was actually heading out to try and break him out of the Academy at that exact instant). Staggering up from the rough warp, Kuro looked around at the stunned faces surrounding him.

"Well...Of all the places that crummy portal gizmo could've sent me, I guess this has to be..." he looked at Coco, "the second best." Aku-Aku let out a faint "Oooh (that was bad)." But Kuro defended it as he stepped behind Coco. As he embraced her from behind he said, "This would've been the best..."

To that, Aku let out a little "Aww..." Which was followed up by a heaping healthy dose of Crunch-isms, "Should've stayed in school! A day without breakfast will break you...Fast! Evil is not the way! (Crunch's voice fades out as focus drifts from him)

As Coco hugged Kuro back, Blake Opossum walked up to the group, only pointed out by Crash who fervently poked Kuro (eventually smacking him in the back of his head) until he noticed Blake.

"(Ow! Crash why'd you...) Oh...What do you want Blake?" Kuro said, shifting his focus to the opossum.

"I was going to try and get Coco to come hang out with me, instead of busting you out of the Academy of...whatever. It doesn't matter now I guess. Glad you're back dude." Blake said, the last remark leaving Kuro somewhat shocked.

"You...Glad to see me? But we're rivals, I thought?" Kuro inquired, but Blake replied, "Coco wouldn't let me play any of your games with you gone. I was kinda bored. You being back means I can finally beat you in every game you own." Kuro shook his head.

"Blake, Blake, Blake...I've got a much better idea. How about a brawl? I caught a glimpse of the news while I was in the Academy, there was an interesting story about a bunch of people totaling the local Wal-Mart. I caught a peek of you in the fray...Letting the old man win...And I thought they said chivalry was dead..."

Blake smirked for a second (he had no clue what 'chivalry' meant, but he knew it was a good thing to have), "you do know I'm kidding right? I got a text that you'd been beaten in the 'second round of Brawlmart' by an old fart. Before you ask...It was little Leo. I knew it was you because it said..."

Kuro flipped open his black and red cell, "'Thought you might need something uplifting in that Evil School, the butt lost the second round of Brawlmart to some old fart and lost all that money'...Seriously Blake...An old man? Seriously?"

Kuro cracked up a little bit, then stopped when Coco gave him a look. Then she happened to glance down at his one wrist. The 'C' bracelet was still there, even with Kuro clad in an Academy getup. "You wore it! Even in the Academy?" Kuro nodded, "Of course I did, I couldn't have taken it off...It wouldn't be right.

"Anyway...what do you think Blake? A brawl to see just who's the top dog...er...furry animal...(anyway)...To see who's on top around here! Me...or you?"

* * *

**[Ooooh...Kuro vs. Blake to come in the future! Muahahaha...Some of my best work is listening to Crash music...(the Spyro stuff was a bit too mellow for me in terms of what I ended up writing...Look forward to the next Episode in the near future! (Hopefully around the time of FalcoFad13's one with me so they can coincide with each other) -Darth Omix]**


End file.
